oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
