CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
