Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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