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I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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