My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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