I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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