Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
