He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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