I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
