He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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