She's JV to your varsity
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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