I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
