She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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