my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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