Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
