why didn't you poke me back
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No subtext here. People are naked.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
