Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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