escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
