puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
