I just made out with a guy for $7.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
