Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
