Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize