So drunk its hurt
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
