it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
