plz talk dirty to me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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