I cannot find my penis.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
