I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
