I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
