so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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