Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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