My nipple is on Facebook.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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