thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want to make out with him forever
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
