just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
