i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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