im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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