I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
