You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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