I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
