24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
