direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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