New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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