Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

her vagina looked like bernie madoff

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(302): View more from Delaware

Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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(205): View more from Alabama

the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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(519): View more from Ontario

You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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(314): View more from Missouri

I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

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(775): View more from Nevada

St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b

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