I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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