Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?

  (760): View more from California

  oh geez, wrong person.

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  (760): can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)? (760): oh geez, wrong person. http://tfl.nu/89mo
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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  (774): im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there http://tfl.nu/wpso
  Replies (8) Good night (4782) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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  (304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490
  Replies (30) Good night (5501) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (738): View more from

  I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.

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  (738): I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog. http://tfl.nu/tlok
  Replies (22) Good night (973) Bad night (3837)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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  (989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3
  Replies (5) Good night (2546) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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  (619): Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight http://tfl.nu/2z23
  Replies (14) Good night (1753) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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  (202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady
  Replies (0) Good night (1024) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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  (501): I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it. http://tfl.nu/ipd9
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

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  (480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

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  (434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72
  Replies (6) Good night (2035) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.

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  (479): Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie. http://tfl.nu/n54r
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (181)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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  (321): This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat http://tfl.nu/jdal
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up

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  (503): He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up http://tfl.nu/b7lo
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.

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  (903): I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/xsbd
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (144)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?

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  (253): Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand? http://tfl.nu/rm7i
  Replies (5) Good night (528) Bad night (146)

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