You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
