I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
