I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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