Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
