she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
