Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
