I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
