Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
