put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
