ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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