you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
