who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
