I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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