Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
