Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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