That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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