You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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