it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
